Library Ethics Greater Sins Chapter 8 - al-Walidayn(Disobedience to parents) When is Obedience to the Parents Wajib?
When is Obedience to the Parents Wajib?
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When is Obedience to the Parents Wajib?
The orders and restraints of the parents are of no significance with respect to the Wajib acts and the Divine prohibitions. For example if the parents order the child to drink wine or restrain him from the obligatory prayers and fasts, they should not be obeyed. It is expressly mentioned in this Verse of Surah LuqmÄn:
“And if they contend with you that you should associate with Me what you have no knowledge of, do not obey them...”
(Surah LuqmÄn 31:15)
The traditions also support this Ayat:
“No Obedience of a creature in contravention to the Divine command.”
(BihÄr al-AnwÄr)
Apart from these circumstances, obedience to parents is obligatory with regards to the Makruh and Mubah acts. The same applies to the Wajib al-Kifai.
If by performing these actions, the parents are displeased or hurt, it is ‘HarÄm’, a Greater Sin and causes one to be ‘Ä€q al-Walidayn’. Suppose the son wishes to proceed on a non-obligatory journey and the parents restrain him as they fear some harm for him, or because they cannot bear to be separated from him; and the son disobeys them and goes ahead with the journey, such a journey is HarÄm. It is a journey of sin. SalÄt and Fasting is not Qasr for this journey. In short, anything that causes displeasure and hurts the parents, is absolutely HarÄm.
Obedience to parents is not obligatory in the following cases:
When it causes unbearable hardships or harm. For instance, if they restrain the son from marriage when he feels the need for it. Or they order the son to divorce his wife without a sound reason. If such an action will result in harm to both the spouses, it is not obligatory to obey the parents.
As far as I know, it is not obligatory to obey parents even in cases where they do not get angry or hurt if their commands are disobeyed.
As far as possible one should obey their orders and restrain from opposing them. Especially when the parents advise their children for their own benefit and without any selfish motive.
